East Timor Medical Elective - Week 3 (Part 6 / 6)

TEMPORARILY GETTING RID OF AUSTRALIAN MINDSET (TOXIC “TALL POPPY SYNDROME”)?

At night after giving Chicken for the first time, I was worried about how I'd be perceived.

My normal Aspie self would see this in a concrete, objective manner as an act of spending money to buy a Chicken and giving it to people who otherwise would have difficulty buying it.

However, my past experiences with NTs (Neurotypicals) was that they had a statistically much higher chance of putting a skew on events, particularly with stronger emotional biases, even to the point of discrediting the person who had “neutral” or “altruistic” intentions to begin with. Ie, I already knew that acts of charity aren't necessarily viewed as good by everyone. 

I pondered, is buying things for other people considered [ patronizing / showing off / egotistical / arrogant / trying to please everyone / insecure and wanting to be liked by “buying friends” / an attempt by a potential “Paedophile” to lure innocent children ]?

I asked another assistant (“Martinho“) whether buying things for East Timorese people was at any times considered patronizing, offensive, or ignited criticism and cynicism from others. He said,

“In East Timor, people appreciate the gift, no matter how much it's worth, even if it's just 5 cents. We won't get angry or think it's patronizing.”

 

That was it, no more, no less.

I was very relieved to hear this, but then confused. How could the response of East Timorese people be so simple/pure and positive? Aren't they predominantly NT as well? How could they be so different in mentality? Are they still “human” for having such a straightforward, “bestial” response?

My mind was racing, trying to think of the underlying “Physiology” behind this mentality. Could it be that East Timorese think like this coz of their poverty, so “beggars can't be choosers”?

I realized that the cumulative negative reactions of NT Australians in the past (towards me, and others) have made me feel like EVERY F***ING-THING I said, did, or achieve, would somehow be offensive, unacceptable or Politically Incorrect to somebody, for some G-d-damn reason that was initially beyond my “simple” AS mind. My constant attempts to update my “social skills” database as a means of facilitating my function within a predominantly NT-environment actually worked against me here. But in reality, it wasn't just the NT-environment that I was attempting to adapt to, but an Australian one. I underestimated the influence of Australian “culture” on the environment.

There are Australians who deny the existence of “Tall Poppy Syndrome”, but my observations in the media, along with my personal experiences, suggest to me that it's alive and well. The person being “cut down” doesn't even have to be rich or intelligent, it seems to be as long as they attempt or do something that other people don't do, that it frequently attracts criticism or derision, even if others had zero intention of doing that task in the first place.

I thanked Martinho for the explanation, but felt really upset, and really nauseated inside.

I wasn't sad at the gratitude of the East Timorese people, but sad that “Australian cynicism/jealousy” and “Tall Poppy Syndrome” had “poisoned” my mindset, even outside of a social environment, and OUTSIDE of Australia. My worries in the Chicken incident were for nothing.

I was unable to purely accept a charitable act for what it was, and in the grueling process of understanding people, paradoxically lost my ability to appreciate goodwill without triggering negativity.

The East Timorese are much poorer than Australians, and have access to far less amenities, medical and non-medical. The children seem so innocent and easily entertained, whilst the youth are disillusioned re: unemployment. Yet in spite of all of this, emotionally and spiritually they seem “purer” and more “elemental”. Despite 3rd-World conditions, in some ways, they are “freer” than Australians. Their “freedom” from cultural cynicism and Political Correctness is exquisitely liberating and luxurious for foreigners who've “walked on egg-shells” for years. What is the price to experience such Mental Clarity in one's country, to regain a part of one's “Inner-Child”? 

 

I'll miss East Timor very, very much when I come back to Australia... : (